We met through OKCupid! Yes! it is True and it is Amazing! Antonia actually had gone on that morning, October 12th, 2014 to deactivate her profile. Antonia had been on since the Summer and was feeling ambivalent with the online dating. Antonia was moved in a mysterious intrigue when she saw Nalini's photo glowing at her. Nalini's smile was radiant with love and receptivity. Antonia felt invited to respond. To her delight as she read Nalini's profile she realized they seemed very compatible.
A month or so prior, Nalini was at a place of waiting to be "contacted"on OKCupid, as she was very tired of always being the initiator. That faithful Sunday morning, Nalini received an email saying that Antonia liked what she read and that she lived near the ocean. This intriged Nalini more, as the sea was a place she loved and frequented often. Since Antonia was the initiator, Nalini then wrote and asked if Antonia would like to meet for coffee/tea? Antonia responded with her number so that it would be easier. Nalini already liked her, as they both felt it was very important to meet and talk right away, rather than communicating through emails.
More of Nalini's story:
In June of 2011, I had ended a 23 year marriage with a man. It was a very loving, kind and comfortable relationship and we raised two beautiful children together. However, over the years deep inside myself there was a deep yearning for a complete and profound spiritual relationship with a womyn. This wasn't something that just happened one day, however in 2009 my child announced that he was transgender. I grieved the child that I thought I was loosing. But in my journaling, I realized the power and strength my child endured to be himself, and my child was still my child, who I loved. In fact, I wasn't "loosing" my child at all. He was the same person. My child, who was going through so much inside, he inspired me to look within myself and ask, "Was I really being who I wanted to be?". It took 2 more years and in that time, my inner spirit and yearning became so bright and loud, that I couldn't ignore it anymore.
As hard as it was to end a 23 year marriage, one that was easy, compatible, fun and loving, I knew that I could not lie to myself or to him any longer. I had made a decision to tell him how I felt and even in the sadness of ending that relationship, there was a great relief for me. There was faith, hope and a seed was planted, that I would one day be in a full, sober/clean, and sacred spiritual relationship with a womyn. One where I was met with the same deep spiritual and compassionate intimacy and connection I yearned for.
More of Antonia's Story:
In 2011 I went through an auspicious spiritual awakening six weeks after I had a surgery. I was hospitalized for stroke like symptoms. This followed by a persistent neurological condition. I methodically learned to adjust to living with a bilateral loss of sensation in both my hands and feet. This forced my entire body to be at a stand still which was also in profound physical pain. I taught myself to move in a very deliberate and slow manner. It was a new mindful practice that this high strung red headed Italian~Latin womyn was not accustom to.
This medical crisis corresponded with my 52nd birthday and I began to question everything in my life. This uncovered my longing for more emotional and spiritual depth in my intimate relationship. The restlessness I had been feeling in my long term relationship erupted. I wanted a marriage and equal partnership on every level imaginable. I made a difficult choice to be alone and break up my secure relationship rather than compromise my hearts deepest desire.
(For an expansion Antonia's story see partner section below.)
After being single for 2yrs., I joined OK Cupid in the late spring of 2014: very timidly and consciously I created a profile. I was busy working working extra hours as a Medical Social Worker at Kaiser Santa Clara, (10 minutes from Nalini's school where she teaches) . I was inactive from June until I emailed Nalini. I honestly had an intention to deactivate my account.
I was discouraged and felt I should meet someone in my social and spiritual circles or through a friend. After my experiences, I was really afraid to hurt another loved one or be hurt ever again in love. I thought celibacy was the safer route. After two years of tremendous grief I still doubted that my deepest prayer-my true-love, soul mate/twin-flame even existed and was she really on Ok Cupid?
So that October morning in 2014: I truly only a had a buried micro mustard seed of faith. I thought I had to continue to grieve and let go of my desire and dreams for true love with my twin flame.
When I saw Nalini’s sweet tender radiant loving smile it was all reactivated that morning . It was as if her eyes reached across the computer and received mine: she welcomed me home. Nalini mirrors me: emotionally, physically, sexually, passionately, and spiritually in the most amazing depth in our intimacy. I believe today is she is my twin soul - my twin flame- my true love, my Nalini Teresa who too was aching and praying for my return to her.
More of Nalini's story:
I had been coming to Santa Cruz a lot, I was involved in going to Kundalini Yoga events, and Kirtan, as I love to chant and drum. I had come over to Santa Cruz at the end of August to hear Sat Purkh Khalsa chant. I bought 3 of her CD's! When I got home, I listened to one chant called "Longing", it is about finding your Soul Mate. In that moment I knew that I should write that chant and it's meaning out and use it as an affirmation to have on my alter, as well as listening to it every morning after I did my Yoga practice. Over the past 3years I had several prayers "Affirming" a sacred relationship. But it wasn't until having this chant and affirming it in prayer, that it was answered....well that is not totally true, it ALL was affirming! This chant "Longing" reached into my Heart and Grace, Faith and Hope Shined into my Life as it was within a couple of months that Antonia contacted me.
Nalini left Antonia a funny voice message because Nalini wasn't sure if she did catch that her first name was Teresa! because Nalini was a little nervous! So Nalini said, "Well I guess if I wanted to know your name, I could call back, but that might be a little weird?" or something like that! Funny thing is, both of our first names are Teresa. Very Italian! We both love our names though and it is fun that our given names are Teresa.
We spoke on the phone for over an hour that night. Antonia was very easy to talk to and we laughed together right away. It was hard for Nalini to not get excited and just try to remain calm, we both were really looking forward to meeting each other. We decided to meet at a Tai restaurant near West-gate mall, as we also found out we work about 10 minutes from one another.
We were talking on the phone to help Antonia find the place, as it was difficult. As she drove into the lot, Nalini can still remember seeing the sun shining on Antonia's hair. (insert bashful face here) Our dinner was lovely and we talked the whole time. At the end, Antonia did leave kind of abruptly and so Nalini wasn't sure how it went, as she thought it went well until then..... Antonia called Nalini later that night, we had a wonderful conversation and Nalini asked her about her leaving somewhat abruptly. Antonia clarified that it wasn't her intention, she was nervous. Nalini felt much better too!
We continued to talk as well as meeting up for dinners that first week. On our 3rd dinner date we both realized that we had Pele tattoos. Nalini remembers going and sitting next to Antonia to look at her upper left arm, and Nalini's Pele is on her lower right leg, very balanced we are!! It was a beautiful moment, a deep heart connection, more than we thought possible. Pele is a powerful Goddess for both of us, and it is Her combination of being destructive as well as re-birthing New Land, that makes Her so incredibly special to us both.
Our Pele Connection story: We both have Tattos of Pele.Nalini has hers on her right calf and Antonia has hers on her left shoulder.
Nalini: "My Mom died on my birthday 10/8/2006 ( I turned 44, my favorite number). I began therapy Nov. 13, 2006 and as I continued to dive in deep, at one point my writing about my grief, was like an erupting volcano. My therapist said "Wait!" she ran upstairs to her house and came back with a book. "Pele Goddess of the Volcano by Herb Kane". I read it and Pele spoke deeply to me, and I decided to honor my Mom and myself, on the 1 year anniversary of my Mother's death, I would get a Pele tattoo. Pele has brought great healing to me, within me and I am ever so grateful of HER! Antonia also has that same book!"
Antonia always thought she would have a portrait of her late newborn daughter, Carmelina Rose tattooed on her shoulder. She frequented the Hawaiian islands and collected images of Pele over the years. She always felt a spiritual connection to the Goddess Pele and all her wonderful qualities and beauty. On the eve of Carmelina's 40th Birthday, Antonia was in Kauai and was moved by a newer image of Pele that she fell in love with. Antonia went searching for a tattoo artist in Kauai. After being told the best portrait artist on the Island was booked up for six month- he "Jared" walked into the shop. Antonia and Jared connected and she intuitively trusted him. Three days later he was able to create a beautiful piece of art on Antonia right shoulder that represents Carmelina's maturation.
Our talks, lunches (sometimes Antonia would drive to Nalini's work on her break and just pick Nalini up for lunch!) and dinners continued over the next weeks. We knew our meeting and connection went more deeply than we thought possible. We were falling in love and it was hard to believe it, as we both had been waiting so long, waiting and hurting..... wondering........what if it never happens?.......
It is like our friends said, "It will happen when it's right" "Why do you want to settle for crumbs?" "You deserve love and it will come"........... and so forth!
Yes! it happened all right and this time, it happened for BOTH OF US!!! AT THE SAME TIME!! WITH EACH OTHER!!! Our dreams of a sacred relationship had be MET with one another. We know now we are each others Twin Flame; Soul Mate. We kept saying "Where did you come from?", "Are you for real?"......... And then we begin to remember: yes we remembered each other ; very sacred and ancient.
We realized that (in early 2012) the same time Nalini was separated from a secure marriage of 23 years after coming out as a lesbian: Antonia longed for a deeper and more committed spiritual and emotional marriage.
Despite the loving years together with her partner, she knew if it was possible to met her Twin Soul Flame she needed to be single and available. So Antonia risked everything in March 2012, for this Mustard seed faith in love. By the Fall Equinox the same year, she traveled solo to Malta for a Goddess pilgrimage and Nalini’s divorce was final the same month.
It was and is a very exciting time for US! Nanlini asked Antonia to marry her on Valentines Day 2015 (see tab for the Proposal." We just celebrated our first FULL year together ALL of 2015! It will only be 19 months togther when we are legally married. However, we feel as if we each have waited decades for each other-so we dont want to wait any longer.
It is very important for us to stay as present as possible, holding our connection of one another as a priority, after/in Spirit. Having a deep Spiritual practice is a foundation that we are and have been building from.
Having a Sacred Ceremony that is witnessed by family and friends makes our hearts overflow in deep joy! Our life has just begun, however, it is an ancient love that feels like years together, many, many Moons! One that can only open more and more into the Preciousness, this Love that we have found in being with one another, a Sacred Journey to be Cherished.
WE LOVE YOU!! & In Gratitude for your love and support!
Antonia and Nalini
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